Critique of "Facing It"

Yusef Komunyakaa's poem "Facing It" makes me question the ethics of war memorials. Supposedly intended as somewhat, not to be belittling but, of a "thank you" to deceased veterans, from the speaker's reaction to the memorial, it doesn't seem to have a positive effect. What does it do for the veteran who's still alive to see it? The speaker, who is presumably a Vietnam veteran himself, seems consumed by the memory of the deaths of his comrades. The opening lines of the poem say, "My black face fades/hiding inside the black granite." I interpret that to mean these memories which have materialized in the form of the Memorial have evinced his identity--he can only see himself in the reflection of the dead men who fought alongside him. There is a sense of paranoia when the speaker sees what he perceives to be a woman "trying to erase names," as if this erasure would impact him negatively somehow. But in actuality, she is just brushing a boys hair.